perfectionism
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” - Anne Lamott [Bird by Bird]
Perfectionism, by its very nature, is an endless pursuit. We seek to craft, mould, and shape every task, every project, and every aspect of our lives to fit an idealized vision of perfection. However, this exhaustive race lacks a finish line because perfection is an illusion. The bar we set keeps moving, eluding our grasp, and in the process, we create a mental prison where our ideas, creativity, and even happiness are confined, scrutinized, and often discarded for not being & perfectionism, thus, becoming a tyrant that stifles our spontaneity, curbs our risk-taking, and fuels anxiety that we are never good enough.
Moreover, as the excerpt illustrates, there’s a peculiar and obsessive belief that perfection can somehow safeguard us from life’s inevitable conclusion & death. We aim for immaculate precision, treading meticulously on each stepping stone of life as if it could prevent our eventual demise. But it’s a stark reminder that the sun will set for all of us, regardless of how flawlessly we danced our dance or how meticulously we played our parts. In this grand scheme, striving for absolute perfection seems almost futile, if not absurd.
And yet, while we painstakingly measure our steps, many around us are skipping, hopping, or even stumbling through their journey, eyes not fixated on each stone but on the scenery around, on the horizon beyond, on the laughter and the tears, on life as it is, in all its messy, chaotic beauty. They might not follow the ‘perfect’ trajectory, but their journey is often filled with richer experiences, heartfelt memories, and valuable lessons. They fall, they rise, they falter, and they soar, all the while evolving and learning, becoming more resilient, more understanding, and perhaps, more human.
In essence, the idea here seems to be about embracing our inherent fallibility and the unpredictability of life. It’s about finding liberation in the fact that our first drafts can be far from perfect, that it’s okay to miss a step, to fall, to pick ourselves up, and move forward. It’s a call to shift our focus from unattainable perfection to continuous growth, to nurture our curiosity and creative spirits, and to savour life’s journey with all its twists and turns, highs and lows. It urges us to replace the oppressive voice of perfectionism with a more compassionate, understanding narrative, one that celebrates effort, resilience, and the sheer joy of living, regardless of imperfections.